Raised by Morons
by KodiakWolfe13
Summary: Ever wonder what it would be like for crazy adult-Sam and Tucker to raise Danny? Well, it's certainly interesting. (One-Shot.)(No pairings.)


**Disclaimer: Don't sue me. I own nothing except the idea.**

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Danny sighed, absently looking towards the clock with bored eyes. He sighed when he saw the time was giving him a choice. He could go and interrupt his adopted parents' daily argument or he could be late for school and starve because he didn't get breakfast. He weighed his options for a little bit before getting up from his spot on the bed, slinging his backpack over his shoulder, and opening the door to his bedroom.

The fourteen-year-old immediately had to duck to avoid getting hit in the head with a plastic cup. When he straightened out again a second later, Danny inspected the new dent in his bedroom door before gesturing wildly to it, giving his adopted parents' an irritated glare. "Seriously? What did the door ever do to you guys?"

From her spot in the kitchen, Sam focused her violet eyes on the fourteen-year-old standing just outside his bedroom. "Danny! I thought Tuck and I told you not to interrupt our fights when we're trying to kill each other after what happened last time!"

"Yeah and we're almost done here." A cocoa-skinned male hiding behind the couch with a frying pan continued, shrugging casually. Neither of the two adults in the room looked particularly hostile, just more annoyed at each other than anything else. With that said, the two were always annoyed with each other, were almost always in a fight, and loved to announce it.

The ebony-haired teenage boy was impressed that they hadn't killed each other after all these years of being roommates.

"Oh, but I love getting smacked with a spatula…" Danny said sarcastically, giving the one of his puppy-dog looks. They glared and the youngest grinned. "I'm just kidding. I have ten minutes before Sam is supposed to take me to school and I really want breakfast. Is that so much to ask for?"

The two adults in the room glanced at the clock blaring on the microwave and they mumbled curses. Sam, dressed in scrubs, grabbed the keys and her purse before gesturing for Danny to follow her out the door. He tried saying they still had ten minutes but she cut him off, saying, "We'll get you something at McDonalds on the way to school now _let's go_."

Danny instantly brightened at the thought and instantly followed his adopted 'mother' (even though she was more like a sister, really) out the door. As he waited for Sam to shut the door on her way out, the teen couldn't help the grin he wore when he heard when Sam looked at Tucker and said, "And don't you be late for work again, you lazy hobo!"

"Aw, shut up, mother hen!"

Sam mirrored Danny's grin as she closed the door and the two of them walked down the hallway of their apartment complex. The 'mother hen,' as Tucker liked to call Sam, began asking Danny if he had this and that and that other thing while he mechanically went along with it, confirming he had everything he needed for school in his backpack. Occasionally, he would say a 'no,' getting Sam to freak out for a moment before he revealed it was just a joke, which she Gibb-slapped him for.

Danny was laughing at one of these jokes when he and Sam exited the apartment and walked across the parking-lot to their car sitting in its usual spot beside Tucker's. Sam opened the driver door, glaring at the much younger boy as she threw her purse into the backseat. "That wasn't funny."

The ebony-haired boy nodded his head in a way that said 'yes it was.' "Oh, come on, Sam! You should've seen your face! You were so mortified! I don't think you've ever reacted so badly to that joke before!"

Sam continued to glare before they bent down to slip into their seats of the 2009 Hyundai Genesis. The older woman was rolling her eyes in irritation while Danny's mirth eased off and he pouted at his guardian. "Come on, Sammy~. Don't be like that! It was just a joke and you know it!"

"Don't push me or you're not getting breakfast."

"Yes ma'am." Danny mumbled as he slipped his phone from his pocket, turning on the Bluetooth so it would sync with the car. Once it was synced, Danny wasted no time in turning on one of his car-ride playlists and set it down in the cup-holder, grinning as he bobbed his head. Sam cracked her own grin as she pulled out of her spot, put the car in drive, and eased out of the parking lot.

The two stopped at the McDonalds on the way and went through the drive-thru, getting Danny his breakfast while Sam got a coffee. They were in and out rather quickly and the ebony-haired boy was more than happy to gorge on his sausage biscuit while Sam only rolled her eyes and tried to ignore the fact it had meat on it. She had to be tolerant if she was going to live with a carnivore and the carnivore's 'little brother.'

The sausage biscuit and Danny's drink were gone by the time they pulled up to the high-school. Sam's coffee was sipped on but not halfway gone yet, trying to save some for the beginning of her shift at the nearby hospital.

Sam pulled up to the curb in front of the high-school within a line of cars of all sorts. Danny gathered his trash into the brown, paper bag and half-listened to Sam telling him good-luck and to be good while in school. He gave his monotone reply before he opened his door, leaned over to Sam real quick to give her a kiss on the cheek for breakfast, and hopped out. "Bye Sam!"

Smiling, the woman replied, "Bye Danny! Don't die of embarrassment of any kind!"

Danny stuck his tongue out at the woman before shutting the door and allowing her to pull away from the curb. He checked the time on his phone and wasn't surprised to hear a different feminine voice, much younger than Sam's, call his name. Smiling, Danny looked over his shoulder and grinned at the girl coming up on his side. "Sup Val."

Valerie, a girl with dark skin, green eyes, and long brown hair, walked up on her best friend's side and the two began walking towards the school. As they walked by, Danny dropped his trash in one of the bins as he asked, "So did you talk to your dad?"

"Uh-huh. He green-lighted you staying over at house on Friday. And did you talk to your wonderful guardians?" Valerie asked, grinning fondly at the thought of the two adults who always rubbed each other the wrong way. It was rather humorous to watch them. To make things better, Sam and Tucker were fully aware they were a spectator sport.

Danny grinned. "All I have to say is that I'm bringing the horror movies."

"And I'm bringing the junk-food." Valerie instantly replied, bumping fists with her best friend as they entered the school and headed to their lockers. They continued to make plans for their sleepover at the end of the week, adding some never-gonna-happen elements that were never gonna happen (hence the name) but it was fun to dream, right?

School was normal, as always. Danny and Valerie went to their various classes, said 'hi' to their acquaintances, and did their work with their best effort. Occasionally, the two were teased by the 'popular' kids but nothing they said seemed to faze them because it was the same crap they were told every other day of their life by the same people. So instead of feeling shunned, which was the effect the 'A-Listers' were going for, they only felt extremely annoyed.

Danny especially felt irked when they tried to tease him about being adopted. He tried saying that, yes, he was aware and he honestly didn't care since he knew all about his biological parents but all his words went right in one ear for the bullies and out the other. Valerie just patted his back sympathetically and rubbed her temple in irritation.

Other than that small hiccup, the rest of the day was uneventful.

"Ok, so, we'll watch It Follows, Let Me In, and Let the Right One In. And if we watch those before the night is over, we'll re-watch The Conjuring and Paranormal Activity. Sound good?" Valerie asked, getting a nod from her friend as they planned their night. "And what are we doing for junk food again?"

"I think we were gonna surprise ourselves." Danny answered, grinning.

Valerie grinned back and they perked when there was a loud honk. The two looked up and saw Tucker waving Danny over to his car. The two friends said goodbye and Danny walked over to the car, opening the door and hopping in without a second thought. Tucker pulled away from the curb, grinning. "So… You two together yet?"

"Tuck, ask me _one more time_ and I will chuck you out the window of the moving car."

"You can't drive."

"Not legally but I'll figure it out! And when Sam wonders why you're being wheeled in on a stretcher on her shift, I'll say 'oh, there was a tragic accident but it's ok because he deserved it.'"

"And then you wonder why Sam and I don't like it when you watch horror movies."

"You only have yourself to blame for that. It was you morons who got me hooked in the first place."

"Don't remind me…"

On the way home, Tucker and Danny began discussing what was going to be done for dinner. They also plotted how they were going to sneak some form of meat into vegan-Sam's dinner, despite the fact both of them had been slapped in the past for that reason. They refused to give up their mission to convert all vegans though, starting with the one that lived with them.

They both ignored how unlikely converting the woman was.

Once at home, Danny and Tucker walked up to the three-bedroom apartment. After going inside, Danny started his homework while Tucker contemplated dinner, since he and the younger boy had done a terrible job at actually deciding on what they wanted.

Tucker finally decided on spaghetti and meatballs because it was rather easy to cook. From his spot at the counter, Danny watched Tucker turn on the stove and fill a pot of water. Without remorse, Danny grinned and said, "Hey Tuck, don't burn the apartment down."

"Ok, will you ever let that one time go?! I'm sorry I almost burned down the complex! What else do you want from me?!"

"An official document stating everyone in this building is ok with you cooking."

"Danny, revenge is beneath me but _accidents happen_." Tucker snarled, glaring at the boy from across the counter. His fingers drummed against the counter in front of him, creating a constant tapping sound.

"Like the time you almost burned down the building?" Danny asked without hesitation, a wild smile on his face. His pencil twitched in his hand while his homework lay in front of him, asking to be finished but easily being ignored by the fourteen-year-old.

Tucker groaned, slapping a hand on his hand and hiding his eyes from view. "Oh my gosh, _why_ did Sam and I adopt you?"

"Cause I was a cute little baby and you two were in your early twenties and were bored out of your minds." Danny answered, smiling cheekily while closing his eyes. They opened a second later and stared at Tucker. "You know, you guys never did tell me how you got the social worker to let you adopt me. Isn't it kind of weird for two roommates to want to adopt a kid but only have intentions of being more sibling-like than parental?"

"Sam would kill me if I told you that story." Tucker stated without hesitation.

"She doesn't have to know~!" Danny sang, batting his eyes and hoping his guardian would go along with it.

Tucker laughed sarcastically for a little while before saying, "No."

"Why not?!"

"Cause I _don't wanna die_ , Danny!"

"Yeah, well, if you keep letting the water sit on the stove and bubble like that, the laws of nature will suddenly break and the boiling water is gonna burst into flames." Danny said, pointing behind the older male and watching, amused, as Tucker yelped before taking care of the problem while the teen went back to his homework.

Once dinner was done, the two males scooped up their food and ate it at the couch, where they watched Godzilla fight aliens and tanks. They couldn't help but make sarcastic comments as they watched, laughing at the creative things the other came up with.

Sam came home not too long after the males finished their dinner and cleaned their dishes. The two were still watching Godzilla movies and being the meanest critics on the earth. The woman grabbed her own plate of spaghetti (without the meatballs, of course) and joined the boys on the couch, easily hopping into the conversation like she'd been there the entire time.

But, of course, Danny had to go and tattle. "Tucker almost burned the house down."

"WHAT?!"

"I did _not_!"

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 **Just another day in the life of the trio from another dimension where Sam and Tucker are older and adopted Danny because they thought's it be fun, despite being more like a big brother/sister instead of a parent. Oh well~! (You may come up with any reason as to why Danny was in the system to begin with. I don't care.)**

 **Before anyone asks where this came from, it's all SweetyKinz's fault! On a different story of mine, Sam and Tucker teasingly said something about "raising" Danny and he said "You guys aren't raising me at all." Well, Kinzy said something about how that would be a disaster and then this came to be... So it's all her fault, guys. All. Her. Fault. XD**


End file.
